Monday, November 13, 2017

My Puppyboarding Peeve

A pet peeve: puppyboarding.
That's my term for a move that could also be called the "One-Point" Straw-Person Transition.
By either name, it's a thing.
***
Here's how it starts: You say something. Maybe it's arguable, but--and this is important--it's not insane.
Someone else says, "You make some good points, but there's one point I would challenge."
You: "Okay."
Other person: "I don't think it's a good idea to waterboard puppies..."
You: 😲
[Other person continues without pause for breath for a good five minutes about just how wrong it is to waterboard puppies, and by doing so successfully transitions from what you said to something safe and 100% agreeable to everyone in the room, while looking edgy. At your expense.]

You (5 minutes later): "I never advocated waterboarding puppies."
Everyone else (who hadn't been paying attention to what you said anyway): "Oh? I thought you did."
***
It's not a straw-person attack. I used to think that's what it was, but that's an inaccurate description. Instead, it's a transition-and-framing strategy, used by people who want to unveil something very safe in a dangerous, sexy package.

Thursday, November 9, 2017

A Law of Empathy and Projection


Thursday, November 2, 2017

To-Do Lists

Me: This is what I'm going to get done today.

To-Do List: Hahahahahaha!

Me: Shuddup.

To-Do List: OMG, I'm wheezing -- wheezing! -- I'm laughing so hard.

Me: Seriously, shut up.

To-Do List: Sorry. Sorry. Trying to stop.

(later, as I realize just how deep today's swamp is...)

Me: I might have to move this thing and that thing to tomorrow. I'll just have to find a way to get them done then.

To-Do List: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Blackboard's Sushi Threat Letters


Garrr.

I hate how NOT-what-you-see-is-what-you-get Blackboard's announcement and email functions are.

I put together an announcement, and it looked okay. But between hitting submit and its arrival in inboxes, Blackboard went and royally f---ed up the fonts and spacing so that I look like an insane person sending cut-and-paste-letter hostage ransom notes.

LiKe i MiGHt aS wElL haVe tYPed LIKe THIs.

iF U waNT tO seE YEr gOLDfiSH aLivE, SEnd mE FivE buckS.


Everyone, meet your English teacher.

Seriously: Five bucks, or your goldfish is sUshI.

Tuesday, October 31, 2017


Sigh.

Whoever wrote that article probably caught heck for it, while a copy-editor somewhere is wiping sweat off his/her brow, glad that the public doesn't really understand who writes headlines.


Friday, October 27, 2017

Really Bad Pie



(Driving to school.)

Ronan: What do you get if you make apricot pie without apricots and without the pie?

Me: A whole lot of nothing?

Ronan: Nope. Banana bread.

Me: I suspect you've been making apricot pie incorrectly.

Ronan: Hey, not my fault. Wikipedia has been known to be wrong sometimes.